5 Tips for Having Cycle-Centered Convos with Your S.O.
What is a Cycle-Centered Conversation?
A cycle-centered conversation is a dialogue about cycle awareness, processing and embracing different phases of life (e.g., the transition to motherhood), and identifying conditions that affect your cycle.
More on identifying conditions that affect your cycle: You can explore preexisting, new, unexpected, or planned circumstances affecting your body and well-being. Conditions you may wish to bring up include things like getting pregnant, having fibroids, taking hormonal birth control, not feeling safe, etc. It's essential to explore these conditions because whatever affects your cycle affects you and may affect the current state of your relationship.
Preparing to Have a Cycle-Centered Conversation
First, establish a mutual desire and intention for the conversation. Even if you end up doing most of the talking or sharing, it's important to have your partner's consent and interest in this dialogue.
Second, assess what you would like to discuss with one another during the time you set aside for this conversation. You might agree to talk about one or more of the following topics during your cycle-centered conversation:
menstruation, period care, irregular cycles, menopause
ovulation, fertility, and family planning
sexual health and how your cycle contributes to your experience of pleasure (e.g., STD testing, needing more lubrication during the second half of your cycle, wanting more or less stimulation during certain phases, etc.)
reproductive health, including concerns (e.g., a recent diagnosis of conditions like PCOS or endometriosis)
supporting each other and staying connected throughout the cycle
etc.!
Tips for Creating and Enjoying Cycle-Centered Conversations
Set the mood! Create a relaxed, intimate space to talk.
You or your partner might experience various emotions when having intimate conversations like this. Holding space for each other is often easiest when connecting in a safe environment.
Set aside a time to talk to one another with limited distractions. It also helps if you both have eaten and feel rested and ready for the conversation. Lastly, set the mood with candles, pleasant scents, or anything that adds a relaxing touch to your environment.
If you choose to have this conversation virtually (e.g., due to long distance), make sure you both are in private, calm spaces.
Encourage your partner to ask questions, share ideas, and express themselves.
What is your partner curious about? Do they have any concerns? How do they feel about having this kind of conversation with you?
Remember, if your conversation centers around menstrual cycles and you are the only one in the relationship with a menstrual cycle, that doesn't mean this is a one-way conversation! Your partner's opinions, observations, questions, and ideas matter.
Your conversation also may have nothing to do with menstrual cycles but instead may explore how the inner and outer cycles of life are affecting you both.
It also goes without saying that significant decisions and disruptions related to your cycle or reproductive health can often impact your relationship, especially if you are in a long-term partnership. Do your best to share AND listen with patience, compassion, and curiosity as you navigate your conversation together.
Use videos or relevant, concise posts to help explain complex concepts in a simple way
You don't have to be a cycle scholar to have a cycle-centered conversation!
While the essence of a conversation like this is to focus on your experience (your personal experience trumps any textbook!), you may use simple videos or concise posts to explain certain concepts and ensure everyone is on the same page.
You can gather helpful tools to help you navigate the bigger topics you plan to talk about. You can save supportive resources for reference afterward, too!
Thankfully, we live in a time when access to information is available with a few clicks. YouTube University is lovely, but I encourage you to ensure any information you get online comes from a credible source.
Keep it simple. Remember to look for content and sources that are concise, credible, and helpful.
And if it feels right, don't be afraid to casually throw in a meme at the end for good measure ;)
Share how having your partner's support makes you feel and express appreciation for them
Your partner is pretty awesome. Their willingness to have this conversation with you is worth celebrating and appreciating.
Let your significant other know that their support means a lot to you. You might further express your appreciation for them by tending to one of their Love Languages, such as giving them a massage (Physical Touch) or sharing a deeply heartfelt love letter you wrote (Words of Affirmation).
Talk about ways you both can connect further (e.g., having follow-up conversations)
Your cycle-centered conversation will likely bring up topics that need to be fleshed out or addressed continuously. Make a plan with your partner about how you both can connect further beyond this conversation.
Connecting further with your partner might also look like going to the doctor together, taking a more intentional approach to intimacy, or sharing where you are in your cycle every week. You both can decide what feels good together <3
Having cycle-centered conversations can be incredibly intimate, vulnerable, and significant. Take your time. Listen to your intuition. Make sure you have a partner you feel comfortable and safe with to open up in this way.